Second Chances
by ewells4
Summary: "So what does our second chance look like?" he asked, wanting to hear her thoughts but even more than that, just wanting to hear her voice talking only to him.
1. Chapter 1

Sam didn't turn toward the door when he heard it open behind him. A gust of air rushed past him and then the door slammed shut. He closed his eyes briefly, and his pulse raced as he fought the urge to turn his head and look back; he couldn't risk turning around only to see that it wasn't her. Instead, he steadied his hand and took another pull from the pint glass in front of him.

Although he could feel her presence in the room, part of him feared that history might repeat itself. She might not show up. Within seconds, however, the air around Sam sizzled with her warmth as she slid onto the stool beside his and slipped into his peripheral vision. Her very welcome scent surrounded him, and he allowed it to lure him in for the first time in a year. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her wiggle out of her coat and deposit it on the adjacent stool. A second glass—this one full—sat idly in front of him, and he slid it slowly in her direction without turning his head. Sam knew he had to look at her. He needed to confirm that she was actually there. Before he could do that, though, her soft hand rested lightly on his forearm. It was steady and sure.

As he swiveled slowly toward her, his knees briefly bumped against hers and suddenly, he and Andy were face to face. Her dark eyes seemed to want to assure him that this time, she was there with him. Of course she would know memories of that ill-fated day still haunted him. She would know those memories were assaulting his mind at that very moment. She had a knack for knowing things about him that even he didn't know sometimes.

"I'm sorry I didn't come," came out of her mouth in a rush. She removed the hand from his arm, and Sam missed the contact immediately. Any disappointment he felt was short-lived, however, because she quickly reached down to where his hand was resting on his thigh and slid her fingers into the palm of his hand. The light pressure of their joined hands on his leg took center stage. With the exception of some brief contact after he was shot, this was the first time they had really touched each other since before he ended things between them. Colors, sounds, smells, tastes . . . everything in his life had been muted since he made the mistake of letting her go. Now, with this sudden physical reconnection, feelings and sensations he hadn't known for so long came cascading back to him. All he could manage was a deep breath and a welcoming smile as waves of relief crashed over him. He felt fully alive for the first time since he'd forced Andy out of his life after Jerry died.

Still holding her gaze, Sam said, "When you didn't show, I knew it was my fault. It was too late to fix things between us. I waited too long." He remembered the desperation and hopelessness he'd felt at the knowledge that she wasn't coming. He didn't know how to move forward at that point. She was the best thing in his life and he'd driven her away.

"It wasn't too late. I should've come," she responded immediately. "I was confused and hurt, but my feelings for you hadn't changed."

Sam really needed to hear that, but more than that, he needed to know she still felt the same way. "How about now? How do you feel now?" he asked carefully.

"Sam, I think I was pretty clear about my feelings in the ambulance." Andy laughed self-consciously. She looked down for several seconds, and when her eyes returned to his her cheeks were flushed. Sam didn't think she'd ever looked so beautiful. She furrowed her brow as she asked, "Do you think they've changed during the past month?"

"Heat of the moment, Andy," he said with a smirk, tossing her own words from a year before back at her.

"You're a real funny guy," she fired back, rolling her eyes at him. "Okay. I get it. To be clear, I meant everything I said after you got shot."

"Good." Sam swiveled back toward the bar in search of some liquid courage. He took a large gulp before turning back to her, all the while never dropping her hand. He planned to hold onto her as long as she would let him. "I meant everything I said that day when you were holding the grenade. And I still do."

Sam watched as a grin slowly materialized on her face, and he knew it was because of him. Swiping his hand across his mouth, he attempted to hide his own smile. Seeing her happy made him feel validated.

Andy picked up her glass for a drink, staring at him intensely over the rim as she shifted on the stool so that her legs came to rest between his. Sam was more than okay with that.

"What would you have said if I had come?" she asked wistfully.

She moved and one of her legs pressed against Sam's lightly. He wondered if it had been an accident or if being so close without really touching each other was making her as crazed as it was him.

Sam put his elbow on the bar, resting his cheek in his free hand as he thought about all the things he would have said to her—all the things he still wanted to say to her. "I would have said I made a mistake . . . that I knew it as soon as I drove away from you. I couldn't admit it to myself at first because I thought I was doing the right thing, but I knew. And I would have done everything I could to assure you that if you gave me a second chance I'd never hurt you that way again."

Sam considered it a good sign that she was smiling back at him. Although time had seemed like their enemy for so long, perhaps it had also been their friend by allowing them the space to heal.

"That sounds nice," she responded. He could hear the emotion in her voice. "I don't know how I would have reacted then, but I like hearing those things from you now."

"I mean them now, too," he told her slowly. "If anything, I mean those things more now than I did then. I'll do anything to make this work."

"Me, too." She squeezed his hand. "So we said we'd give each other a month to get our ducks in a row, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed warily, wondering where she was going with the statement. "But for the record, you were the one who mentioned the thing about the ducks . . . ."

She laughed at him. And it wasn't just a polite laugh. It was a real Andy McNally laugh—the kind he wanted to hear every day for the rest of his life. "Well, I did it. I got my _ducks_ in a row. I ended things with Nick. I just thought you should know that," she offered up.

"You broke up with Collins," he repeated, not sure he completely believed her. If it were true it would mean there were no more impediments to them being together. With that news, everything clicked into place and he knew they could actually try again if they both wanted it.

"I did." She was sending him an inviting smile, and he knew she recognized what that meant for them as much as he did.

"It's probably stating the obvious, but Marlo and I ended things." He knew everyone at 15 must know Marlo had left town after everything that happened, but still, he wanted Andy to hear it from him. She deserved to hear it from him.

"I guess I did hear something about that . . . ."

He glanced down at their hands, smiling to himself as Andy rubbed her thumb slowly across the back of his hand. Every touch was amazing to him, and he made a note to himself right then to never take anything with her for granted ever again.

"So what does our second chance look like?" he asked, wanting to hear her thoughts but even more than that, just wanting to hear her voice talking only to him.

Smiling back at him she predicted, "I think it looks pretty good. I see us getting our acts together and building something really special."

"I can do 'special,'" he agreed, nodding his head. He knew he had a ridiculous smile on his face, but there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

When she told him she needed to use the restroom, he reluctantly let go of her hand, wondering how he was ever going to let her out of his sight now that he had her back in his life again. He didn't think he could be without her for even a second. As Sam watched her walk toward the back of the bar, she glanced back at him flirtatiously. It had been a while since that happened. Well, maybe not that long. They had shared some moments during the past year, but it had been a while since she _openly_ flirted with him and he acknowledged it. He fully intended to acknowledge it now as he got up off of the stool and followed her to the back hallway. He saw her go into the ladies room and leaned against the wall beside the door to wait for her.

When the door opened and Peck came out, he cringed, wondering what was going to come out of her mouth.

"I assume you're not waiting for me," she observed as she walked past. Exiting the hallway, she turned back and said, "She'll be right out." That was the nice thing about Peck. She didn't linger.

Soon enough, he heard the sound of the sink and then the door creaked open. "Wow. Couldn't wait for me to come back?" Andy teased him.

"Nope." He shook his head slowly, walking her backwards until she was up against the wall and their faces were inches from each other. Without preamble, Sam put his hands on the back of her head and pulled her into a deep, undulating kiss. As he poured himself into it, all of the pain and longing he'd felt when he wasn't with her disappeared. Not wanting to lose the connection with her, he could hardly tear himself away to breathe. Now that he'd tasted her again his desire was insatiable. He gently brushed her hair back behind her shoulder and kissed the side of her neck, following an invisible trail across her jaw line to her chin. He worked his way back to her mouth, cradling her chin in his hands as he did so. Andy sighed against him. Her hands slid smoothly up his back until they reached his shoulders and dug in, pulling him down toward her. He took that as a signal that she wanted more.

Sam managed to utter something that sounded like, "Do you need a ride home?"

"Mmhmm," she confirmed as the feeling of her lips on his distracted him from all rational thought.

Grappling with the control that was rapidly slipping away, he pulled himself together enough to breathe out, "McNally, let's get out of here."

"Okay," she agreed, slowly pulling back and nodding as she rested her forehead against his. A look of understanding passed between them. That was what he'd missed most—the unbelievable feeling of being connected to someone who instinctively knew who he was and what he wanted.

Sam stepped back and took one of her hands, pulling her behind him as they emerged from the hallway. He maneuvered them through tables and bar stools on their way to pick up their jackets and pay the tab. Dropping some money on the bar, he picked up Andy's coat first and held it out for her. Then, simply because he could, he turned her to face him and started buttoning it for her, ignoring the look of amusement on her face. It had been too long since he could do anything for her, and now that he could, he wanted to button her coat. He needed to know that she was warm. As soon as he slipped into his own coat and zipped it, Andy took his hand and pulled him toward the door. Sam held it open for her with one arm and they exited into the night together.


	2. Chapter 2

Andy took a deep breath and pulled open the door of the Penny, willing the confidence back to her side as she felt it slipping away from her. Her eyes darted around the room nervously, coming to an abrupt stop when she saw him sitting at the bar with his back to her. He didn't turn around to look as the door swung closed with a dull thud. Andy stared at the back of his head for several seconds, watching as he raised his glass and took a sip. She knew that this must have been how the scene played out the night she went undercover and left him sitting alone waiting for her, and a wave of regret poured over her. Confronted by the visual of him sitting alone at the bar, Andy's heart hurt and she had the overwhelming desire to make everything okay for him.

He didn't look up as she sat down on the adjacent bar stool, and Andy knew he was reliving that night, too. She watched him as she pulled off her coat and dropped it on the empty stool beside hers. When he slid the second beer toward her and still didn't turn in her direction she realized how hard it must have been for him to come, knowing there was a possibility—however remote—that she might not show up again. Turning her stool toward him, she willed her hand to remain steady as she rested it on his arm, hoping to reassure him that things were going to be different this time.

As Sam turned to face her she instantly recognized the lingering doubt she saw in his eyes, and her predominant thought was that she had to erase any uncertainty that still existed.

"I'm sorry I didn't come." It was something she'd wanted to say to him for a year—a recognition of her own culpability. She thought back through the many nights she lay sleepless in bed regretting her decision not to meet him at the Penny, wishing she could go back and change things. Regret and her inability to make things right had been her constant companions for the past year. She'd been left with nothing but the very dismal prospect of moving on without Sam.

Sam's hand rested idly on his leg, and Andy couldn't resist the impulse to reach for it. She held on tightly, reveling in the feeling of his strong hand wrapped solidly around hers for the first time in a long time.

He was smiling, and he seemed genuinely happy. She was certainly happy, and it was a relief to see those same feelings mirrored on his face. Andy considered the possibility that they might actually be on the same page for once.

Sam surprised her when he said, "When you didn't show, deep down, I knew it was my fault. It was too late to fix things between us. I waited too long."

"It wasn't too late. I should've come. I was confused and hurt, but my feelings for you hadn't changed." Andy wanted to assure him that although she didn't show up, she did still love him. She knew that her absence at the Penny that night sent the message that she no longer cared, and she regretted it more than she could ever remember regretting anything. Her penance had been a year of living with the pain of knowing he might be lost to her forever.

"How about now?" he asked slowly. "How do you feel now?" He seemed to be second-guessing what she told him after he was shot. Andy wondered how that could be possible, but then again, they'd both done a lot to shake their confidence in each other. It was going to take some work to restore the security they once had in themselves and their relationship, and Andy knew it wouldn't be a quick fix. Tonight was about taking the first steps, though.

"Sam, I think I was pretty clear about my feelings in the ambulance," Andy responded, emitting a burst of nervous laughter. She suddenly felt awkward and looked down as she sensed the heat creeping up her face. When she looked at Sam again, she knew she was blushing. It was a blush her body reserved specifically for him and it had been a long time since she'd felt it. "Do you think they've changed during the past month?"

"Heat of the moment, Andy," he informed her with a sly smile.

"You're a real funny guy." She couldn't help but roll her eyes. He was right, of course—frustratingly right, as far as Andy was concerned. "Okay. I get it. To be clear, I meant everything I said after you were shot."

"Good." She watched as he turned toward the bar and took a sip of his beer. She smiled down at their joined hands. He wasn't letting go. She never wanted him to let go of her again. "I meant everything I said that day when you were holding the grenade. And I still do."

Andy grinned as she realized that no one else could ever make her feel as fulfilled and cherished as he made her feel. He made her happier than she ever thought she could be. She took a drink of her beer, watching him for a reaction as she casually swiveled her stool to reposition her legs between his. When he didn't bat her away, she took that as a good sign.

"What would you have said if I had come?" It was something she had hypothesized about many times during the past year . . . just one of the many "what ifs" that haunted her.

Having Sam so close after being away from him for so long gave Andy an almost uncontrollable desire for even more contact. She made a show of shifting around on her stool and in so doing, she "accidentally" grazed one of Sam's legs with her own.

Sam rested his face in his hand on top of the bar, seemingly considering what he might have said to her if she had shown up at the Penny that night. When he started talking, it was slow and deliberate. "I would have said I made a mistake . . . that I knew it as soon as I drove away from you. I couldn't admit it to myself at first because I thought I was doing the right thing, but I knew. I would have done everything I could to assure you that if you gave me a second chance I'd never hurt you that way again."

Andy smiled at him as she thought about how things might have been different for them if she'd given him the chance to actually say those things to her then. Then, she considered the possibility that she might not have been in a place to hear those things back then even if he had said them to her. She'd felt so broken and her confidence in him had been shaken. Hearing him speak those words to her now, though, left her with a sense of complete fulfillment and happiness that she probably wouldn't have had before. Intuitively, she knew he still meant everything he'd just said. She also knew she appreciated the words even more after the year they'd had. Not for the first time, she allowed herself to consider that they might be better for having spent time apart. They might have grown individually in a way that would allow them to build something even better than they had before.

"That sounds nice," she choked out, determined not to cry. "I don't know how I would have reacted then, but I like hearing those things from you now."

"I mean them now, too," he confirmed what she already knew, and she wondered if she could ever love him more than she did in that moment. "If anything, I mean those things more now than I did then. I'll do anything to make this work."

"Me, too," she assured him, squeezing his hand. She needed him to know one more thing, though. "So we said we'd give each other a month to get our ducks in a row, right?"

"Yeah. But for the record, you were the one who mentioned the thing about the ducks . . . ."

She laughed at the skeptical expression on his face. Sam definitely wasn't a "ducks in a row" kind of guy.

"Well, I did it. I got my _ducks_ in a row. I ended things with Nick. I just thought you should know that," she confessed. It had been difficult to end things with Nick, but she'd known it was the best thing for all of them. Even Nick agreed that he didn't want to be in a relationship with a woman who was clearly not available, as much as she might have thought she was when they started whatever they were doing.

"You broke up with Collins," he said, a look of disbelief passing across his features. It quickly dissolved into one of happiness and relief, though.

"I did." Andy felt herself bubbling over with sheer happiness as she smiled at Sam. Having heard rumors that Marlo was gone, she knew this meant they could finally be together.

As if he were reading her thoughts, Sam said, "It's probably stating the obvious, but Marlo and I ended things."

"I guess I did hear something about that . . . " she confirmed, rubbing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

"So what does our second chance look like?" he wondered aloud.

Grinning at Sam, she said, "I think it looks pretty good. I see us getting our acts together and building something really special."

"I can do 'special.'" Sam nodded his head in agreement. Andy wasn't sure she'd ever seen him that happy.

"I'll be back in a minute. Nature calls," she said, pushing off of the stool and heading toward the restrooms. When she looked back over her shoulder, she knew she was openly flirting with him but couldn't help herself. They could do anything they wanted, and she felt giddy at the limitless potential of that.

Andy moved quickly through the back hallway and into the restroom, wanting to get back to Sam as fast as she could. When she pushed open the door, not even the sight of Gail glaring back at her from the sink could ruin her good mood.

"Ugh. You look sickeningly happy," Gail observed, checking her lipstick in the mirror. "I'll assume it has something to do with Swarek. I saw you two drooling over each other at the bar."

"You know, Gail," Andy began confidently, "not even you can ruin my good mood tonight." With that, she slipped into the stall. Seconds later Andy heard the outer door open and close. Gail mumbled to someone outside and she was gone.

When she finished up, Andy opened the door quickly and was surprised to see Sam standing just outside of the door. The sight of him had her heart racing, and she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the shock of almost bumping into him right outside of the bathroom.

"Wow. Couldn't wait for me to come back?" she asked.

"Nope," was the response she hardly registered as Sam nudged her toward the wall and pressed himself against her. She felt his fingers sifting lightly through the hair on the back of her head as he brought her toward him, drawing her into a long, slow kiss. As she sank into it she let go of all the hurt and regret from the past year, feeling overwhelmed by the sensation of being in his arms again after such a long time. When he swept her hair back and began working his way from the side of her neck to her jaw line, Andy closed her eyes and leaned limply against the wall, surprised that she hadn't already melted into a pool of hot liquid at his feet. As he took her chin gently in his hands and returned his mouth to hers, she sighed. She ran her hands up his back to his shoulders and pulled him toward her, letting him know that she wanted more.

Somehow his voice broke through the haze of need that surrounded her, asking if she needed a ride home. She managed to utter "mmhmm" as she drew in a breath and continued kissing him.

Finally, she heard him say, "McNally, let's get out of here."

"Okay," she responded with reluctance, drawing back from him ever-so-slightly. She nodded against his forehead as they shared a look that was heavy with significance. Of all the things they'd shared, that bond between them was the one thing she'd longed for most while they were apart. His strong presence and the knowledge that he was there with her made her feel whole in a way that no one else ever had.

Without a word, Sam took her hand and pulled her with him as he exited the hallway. She followed him toward the bar, snaking their way through a maze of tables and bar stools along the way. He paid their tab and then reached for her coat before she could make a grab for it. As he held it out for her, she stepped into it, hiding the smile that was forming on her lips. She reached down to button her coat, but Sam seemed to have other plans. With his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him and began buttoning her up while she looked on with a mix of confusion and enjoyment. As Sam worked his way from button to button, he warmed her up in more ways than one. When he finished, he stepped back with a satisfied expression and pulled on his own jacket. Andy reached for his hand and led him to the door. Sam held it open for her as she slipped past him and this time, they left together.


End file.
